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Other than the days when I got married and gave birth to my two daughters, I can scarce remember when I’ve felt this happy.  I am in my old stomping grounds of beautiful West Michigan (Grand Rapids, to be exact, or GRusalem as it is affectionately termed by some) to attend the Festival of Faith and Writing at Calvin College. This is my first writing conference to attend. The line up of authors here to speak is amazing, as is the number of publishers, editors and agents here to meet writers. All I have done thus far is arrive and check into the hotel.  Tomorrow my feet will walk the  Christian Reformed campus of Calvin, taking me to and from plenary, workshops, coffee breaks and a small circle group.  For three days I’ll be submerged in faith and writing. (Can’t help but think of the biblical significance of 3 days.  I’ll chew more on that as I’m here.) Squeeeee!!!!

Today I am a grateful, buoyant, breathing, experiencing and processing existence of contentment and inner peace.  For far too long anxiety was my usual state.  So regularly did I feel butterflies and tightness in my stomach that I took the sensations to be my lot in life.  You might understand, then, how I would intuitively know when the butterflies have stopped fluttering and the tension has eased.  At first it feels as if I’ve overdone an Abs of Steel workout — simple muscle exhaustion.  But, lucky for me, lactic acid stays away.  Instead what follows is nothing, which is most certainly something.  It is when I feel nothing that I know I am floating in shalom.

Methinks this is what it feels like to live into God’s purpose, to live my life as my true self.  God created me to be a writer, theologian and stay-at-home Mom.

Exhale.

Deo gratias.

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